"The Texas Ranger of Freeport NY has been a family staple in communities across Long Island for decades. We are proud to inform you that we use 100% Fresh All Natural USDA Certified Beef.
Our secret? It's not one, admittedly. The best ingredients is a big part. An unrelenting love for the burger is the other big part. Between those two, we pretty much have our burger bases covered.
Turns out we also like people, though. We're not making these delicious, one-of-a-kind burger creations to not share them with our human species brethren. We hope to share them with you, in fact. And soon. So head on in to the nearest (heck, it could even be the furthest) The Texas Ranger location and feast your eyes on the greatest burger ever made. You won't be sorry you did."
Let's focus particularly on the last part...and feast your eyes on the greatest burger ever made...false. You won't be sorry you did...also, false. Look at the picture I took of my burger. Is that appetizing? Do you even see a burger under that gallon of mayo (or "special sauce" as they call it)? I don't. I tried looking for it. I felt like Stanley Yelnats from Holes digging through the mayo to get to the burger. And when I finally reached the patty, it wasn't all that rewarding.
Let's take a closer look...
Ranger "Special" Burger: Topped with shredded cabbage, tomato, onion, Special Sauce, and special seasoning.
The Beef: The beef was almost impossible to isolate from the mayo, but I managed to save a piece as it was drowning in the lard substance and see what kind of beef this place was using. 100% Fresh All Natural USDA Certified Beef. "100% Fresh" means the beef is not growing mold on it. "All Natural" is stating that they are using beef and not some chemical compound. "USDA Certified Beef" does us no good, because Taco Bell is "USDA Certified Beef", heck, dog food is certified by the USDA as well. 2 out of 4.
The Bun: The bun was not toasted, taken straight from the package, and put onto the plate (or aluminum foil). It was a white bread bun, with no redeeming qualities...the equivalent to using a potato roll. 1 out of 4.
The Presentation: The presentation really irked me. Look at the picture. Does it look like something you'd order? Does the amount of mayo on that burger make you say, "Ooh la la"? If you had picture choices, is that the first one you would point to and want to eat? Me neither. But this burger is spot on how The Texas Ranger advertises its burgers. The picture on the right is taken from The Texas Ranger's website. If you were planning on putting a picture up of your product, wouldn't you at least make it look appetizing? I'd be ashamed to put up a picture like this and then expect to draw a crowd based on this burger. You don't even see a burger! 1 out of 4. The Cheese: There was a slice of yellow American cheese barely melted on top of this burger. 1 out of 3.
The Sear: Scraping the mayo off the burger to examine its outside, I discovered the edges had been seared from the flat-top grill they were cooked on. However, the top and bottom of the patty had no such sear. 2 out of 3.
Overall Taste: I was hesitant to take a bite of this burger, and it did not contribute to my assumed growing health situation. But underneath the mayo (mind me, "Special Sauce"), the burger wasn't terrible. It looked terrible, but it did not taste terrible. I would give this burger a 2 out of 5.
BBSR: 11 / 27
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